Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Cracked on Brainwashing


Hilarious! Cracked's 6 Brainwashing techniques being used on us right now. But here's the spoiler first.

















#1.

Titties










No, other than that.




I'm talking about...


















#1.

"Us vs. Them"









Holy shit. Here we go.




Sure, we know about the obvious examples, they're written across the
history books in blood and bullet holes. Racism, genocide, horrifying
caricatures on propaganda posters.







But They have figured out that the same technique that works so well
for getting people whipped into a murderous apocalyptic frenzy, can be
used sell you cars, or hamburgers, or computers.









Sounds like:




"The heart of America ain't in Hollywood! It's right here in [insert name of small town]!"




"You can listen to what I have to say, or bury you head in the sand with the rest of the sheeple!"




"You have a Nintendo Wii? Are you a toddler or just a retard?"




Why It Works:


Basically, we're hard-wired by evolution to form tribes.
The more stress we feel, the more we feel love and attachment to those
who look and sound the same as us, and the more we feel hatred to those
who don't. It's just an old survival mechanism, since the ancient guys
who didn't show that kind of blind loyalty were killed off by the
fierce tribes formed by the ones who did.




So today we get that petty dehumanization of everybody outside of our
group ("hippies," "rednecks," "fundies", "geeks", "douchebags", "libs",
"cons", "fags", "breeders", "infidels", "towel-heads", "honkies,"
"darkies", "players", "haters").







WEST SIDE SUCKA



They can play on those old, primal urges for even the most retarded
of results, such as fierce brand loyalty (the PS3 vs. 360 vs. Wii flame
wars will make you claw your eyes out).




But to really make this one work, They can't just define your group, but have to define your group as the elite group,
a shining beacon in a world full of weak-minded walking turds. The
items on this list work best in combination, and you'll see in that the
element of mockery and insulation from opposing viewpoints we talked
about earlier (why listen to the viewpoints of those lesser sheeple?).
Often this is combined with siege terminology ("The whole country has
gone to hell, but we've got to stand up for common sense, folks! It's
us against the world!")









Recently Seen:




Watch five seconds of an election stump speech. Every side does it.



In Sarah Palin's convention speech she talked about how people from
small towns are totally the best ("We grow good people in our small
towns, with honesty, sincerity, and dignity"). Earlier in the primaries
the Clinton campaign did the same thing,
talking about small towns as being the backbone of America where real,
honest people are found. Always there is the unspoken reminder that
these honest rural folk are under siege from those scary, phony freaks
in the city.



When speaking to those city folk, on the other hand, Barack Obama made the infamous reference to those same small town types clinging to guns and religion,
talking about them like they were savages to be studied through
binoculars from a tower, with some peasant disease that needs cured by
the enlightened.








Not only is "Us vs Them" the first and most important one on the
list, it's the culmination and end goal of all the others. Drawing you
into the right tribe is what They want most, because they can
accomplish nothing without tribesmen.



If we don't find a way to resist it, this is what could leave the
entire planet a charred radioactive ruin. And you know what else we
lose if that happens?








The titties.

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